this entry is dedicated to marc. because he feels the only way to find out about whats new in my life is through xanga. CORNY. but whatever. ahah
i hate that my freedom is restricted because im only 18 and i have a vagina.
i hate that fusion is in edison and not in jersey city. because maybe then id get to see my boyfriend more often.
i hate that i crashed my car. my mom lost all confindence in my driving and im starting to lose mine too.
i hate how gas prices went up. WTF! just stop it!
i hate that my mom has her depression, which isnt that bad at all, but seems to use it as an excuse and tends depend on me a lot. but can you blame her? no. not to say i wouldnt take care of her cuz thats what i live for. everything i work hard for is so i can make her happy.
i hate how i have to live up to everyones expectations. i hate how i have to be the familys example. i hate how i have older cousins but i always get the blame.
i hate that i cant see my cousins and the rest of the family because of work.
i hate that school is starting and that my summer sucked, consisting of PEPBOYS, school and occassional hangouts with girlfriends..but not even with all of them. that sucked alot.
i hate how i had to mature so quick growing up because my dad was barely around because he had to find a better way to provide for the family. i had to bare everything, good and bad. lost my innocence.
i hate my flaws.
i hate family drama.
i hate how when i get bored..i eat. no really i hate it cuz i am really getting fatter...AGAIN.
i hate that nursing isnt as easy as i thought and that i have to hurry up and become one to help the family. i dont think all the courses are necessary. most of that shit..nurses dont even remember.
i hate stupid people. esp the ones at work.
i hate that i miss jayr right now. alot. can you blame me? i waited 7 months. dont get me wrong..hes the best. i just cant see him alot. its like hes still in orlando.
i hate that the things i loved so much had to change. the simple things. like the quality downtime. yeahh i loved that.
i hate days like this...where you feel so empty and unloved and you wake up the next day feeling better and stupid. then ill want to delete this. tomorrow better be better. ill be so pissed off!! ill really bust a cap in someones nuts.
my life could be worse. its not all that bad. just the little kinks and dings here and there. but it just hard to bare...especially like days like today. im still grateful for the blessings. could be worse, but its not.
fusion should be in jersey city.
enjoy marc. my only fan. |